In her article, “unpacking the LGBTI Communities” the writer’s heterosexuality is instantly apparent from the tone of this article but that does not excuse her cavalier attitude towards those transwomen who exercise their choice to be different from the hetero-normative dictat.   Unpacking the LGBTI without considering the fact that some transpeople  do identify as L, G, or B,  is an act of exclusion and the reasoning behind this statement will become apparent in due course.

Before we bother ourselves with the confliction of whether we (i.e. the “T“) are lumped together with the LGB or not, we ought to take a mirror, catch our own reflections and ask ourselves: “‘Mirror, mirror, who is the fairest of us all?’ To which our individual response ought to be, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall; I am the dearest of them all. ’”   A self-referential sense, rather than relegating ourselves as slaves to society’s impositions upon the transgender community by generations of “compulsory heterosexualism” and again within the as in traditional LGB before us.  Perhaps, defining our collective selves as a community and doing so carefully so as to acknowledge the differences at the heart of the transgender communities as opposed to denying its diversity for whatever reason.

I am aware of the local of the author -Kenya- and that she herself faces a separatist throng within the LGB not to mention the wider community that side steps issues affecting transgender people. I, on the other hand live in London, and trust me when I say that, living in the capital of the United Kingdom is no escape from LGB/heterosexual transphobia be it subtle or otherwise. I am also of the African Diaspora and I have experienced some of the worst instances of discrimination from Africans as well as from Europeans, Americans and Asians of all generations for reasons of my gender identity, my gender expression and my sexuality.

We have to deal with all those transitional issues as the writer catalogues.  We also have lives beyond all those socio-economic determinants and the “go under the scalpel or not” that, the writer claims, members of the traditional LGB do not partake of by choice. This comes as a surprise bearing in mind that drag kings like Ru Paul, Denis Rodman to mention two, became world famous entertainers? Not to mention the throng of straight men that experiment with their gender expression in daily or nightly performance. I am saddened that the only example of a transperson in this article beside the writer seemed to think that distancing herself is sufficient excuse to say the following:

I am transsexual woman who neither seeks anything from, or gives anything to, the LGB community. As far as I’m concerned, if every LGB vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow, if wouldn’t affect my Transsexualism one iota… I have nothing against LGB people, but their condition has nothing to do with my condition. Frankly, I don’t care what any of these “communities” do. As far as I’m concerned, they’d be better off looking at my example for guidance and support, than I would be looking at theirs. How are communities full of people like this going to benefit me?

As if the LGB clamour means that the trans “LGB” ought to pretend not to exist. These issues are not up to them nor are they up to the author of this article. One thing I want to get out there if anything is that the traditional LGB possessive defence of the sexuality landscape is redolent with paranoia  that needs to respectfully ask when they do not understand the phenomenology of transsexuality or transgenderism. Striking self-righteous poses without understanding the trans community is as ignorant as a straight mob denying the existential integrity of traditional LGB where even bisexuals can sometimes find themselves grotesquely marginalized within the community.

I acknowledge the writer of “Unpacking the LGBTI Communities” is Africa-specific. I lend voice to that argument in the sense that I am African too. I certainly don’t have to live my life based on what society, community, neighbour-hood commands members to do, irrespective of which of the many communities I belong to. Why not? I am an individual with a unique ability to make my own choices without having to be force fed by anyone. When a gay man once asked me: “did it hurt?”  I could have been rude but due to passing of time and experience I am beyond being defensive about gender specific curiosities. I faced him calmly in a level headed manner and responded, “No, it didn’t hurt!” He looked puzzled since for him, his penis was his very existence. I had to make him realise that my transition wasn’t just about what genitalia I had but me -my whole person. From the moment I decided to, “go the distance,” pardon the sports-speak it was no longer about personalised pain. As human beings, we give our “pain bodies” too much importance. I can hear that in the “straight transgender-ist” tone of “Unpacking the LGBTI Communities” which itself excludes my trans-difference, threatening to set me of in primordial fear, anger. My right to choose foreclosed in an instance by a presumption concerning how I lead this life of mine. I can also hear my own pain-body but at least I realise it. Not everyone would have the courage to do so with such ill-placed positioning as the writer of “unpacking…” postulates.

It was about arriving and that arrival wasn’t subject to what my gender expression MUST BE! Apart from the initial “real life test” in which I was required to wear woman’s clothes my choice was for Tran feminism. I chose my position, space and appearances free of “absolutes” and that remains the same as a transsexual homosexual woman. So as transgender people, or transsexuals to be precise, according to the writer, we seem incapable of reason; we are also robbed of our right to make our own choices. She makes the following claim:

What at times unnerves me is the ridiculous notion that transgender persons are pushing themselves to the homosexual crowd. It needs to be said transgender people are not to blame. It’s the way some gays (especially effeminate gays and butch lesbians) behave that created this problem to begin with… cross-dressing in parties and pride and having boob jobs to get into the she-male porn industry – it was assumed that gay men want to be women and lesbians want to be men. You made transsexuals look like a big joke and as people who capriciously break gender norms for the sake of it.

This borders on hate speech and I’m saying this as one African transsexual woman to another. It comes across as homophobic and, in trying to defend homosexual transpeople belittles us. Our ability to fight our own fights, make decisions on how we choose to identify, making the assumption that we copy our gay sisters and brothers and in doing so ends up insulting us because of our life choices. That is coming from a transwoman is internalised transphobia. A greater understanding of the issues facing transgender people and how to access transgender resources globally is urgently needed rather than erroneous generalisations that more than likely would lead to confusion. Only last month, I received a hateful comment from a reader who was having difficulties negotiating the difference between transsexuality and transgenderism. The said readers comment went as follows:

Please do not use TS and TG interchangeably. TSs are mainstream women born with the wrong body and fix it. TGs are men who choose to pretend to be women and love keeping their precious penis for life. TS is a birth defect while TGs are men who lie and pretend to be women and commit sick acts with their penis. Lumping TSs in with TGs is like lumping someone taking pain pills after surgery to a drug addict. TS is a birth defect and a type of mainstream woman, TG is a choice and a type of queer. ALL non-ops MtF TGs are men and NEED to be called male pronouns no matter how much they protest. To call a man who keeps HIS penis for life a she and her is immoral and wrong. ALL TSs need the surgery, while ALL TG men pretending to be women want their penises played with.”

Did the “TS” in the story have surgery or was in need of it, or were they a TG man living a charade as a woman? If it was a TS, then the gay man was a bigot. If it was a TG, then the gay man did correct in warning the woman about the man pretending to be a woman and was supposed to keep his penis. Of course, any true-TS woman would have punched the f*g, and this person’s “overlooking” is a type of effeminacy – a male homosexual response. A female would have raised hell. But the “TS” must have enjoyed it as the lack of response showed. Any TS who doesn’t speak up EVERY time she is misgendered is not my sister.”

We do not want to give people confusing information but even with our best efforts some people still have difficulties understanding. According to Emi Koyama quoting Cherrie Moraga:

In this country, Lesbianism is a poverty-as is being brown, as is being a woman, as is being just plain poor. The danger lies in ranking the oppressions. The danger lies in failing to acknowledge the specificity of oppression

These days, globally, transgenderism is the new poverty and transsexualism much more so especially if you do not pass. The writer’s failure to realise the diversity of transsexuality and inevitable sexualities of transpeople is such an act. I’m left wondering whether the writer of “unpacking…” fully understands how diverse transsexuality really is and that this goes beyond an assumed “compulsory heterosexuality” that she seems to favour over all else. I have to say that it is unfortunate that she so fleetingly overlooks the diversity at the heart of transsexualism not to mention the greater transgenderism when she claimed that:

The wanton oversight that defined the LGBTI movement in divisive terms only stands to isolate transgender agency further in a homo-normative enclave. Internalised homophobia is rife but so is transphobia. Passing judgement on transwomen or transmen without fully understanding how gender identity and sexual orientation merge is detrimental to human evolution

While I believe that subjective narration of transsexual experience is important for a fuller understanding of transsexual individuals and our life experiences in the world I object to sisters or brother who wantonly assume age old compulsory heterosexuality for all. As a transsexual woman who identifies as a lesbian myself I find these implications deeply offensive. The author of  “unpacking…” seems to claim that I do not have freewill or the right to make that choice. Is she saying that any woman has such rights to go outside heterosexuality by the same token or is that particular slur only reserved for transwomen that exercise that right?

A closer look at “Unpacking The LGBTI Communities” reveals a regressive step backwards instead of encouraging a positive multitude going forward together in her assertions the latter takes precedence. Using the discomfort of a gay man for levity the writer of “unpacking…”quotes the unnamed person as stating the following:

I dislike transsexuals. I have nothing against them. I just don’t want think they should be put in the same category as the gay/lesbian/bisexual community. Being transsexual doesn’t affect which gender you’re attracted to. I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m just saying that it doesn’t  belong in the classification of sexuality”

another gay man claimed:

“Transsexuals being associated with homosexuals make homosexuals look bad.”

Sexuality fundamentalists or what? And the insults go on. One gay man again, even said, “I hate being put in the same boat as ‘transgender’. However his fears are apparent when he goes to talk about the appearance transwomen, surgical intervention we undergo and his need to keep up with the Joneses as an authentic gay man without noticing the hatred he deplores in the stereotypical view of transgender people. Perhaps all he was saying was like one Nigerian question asked once at an LGBTI conference when he said, “What does transgender mean anyhow?” an opportunity to educate if any but unfortunately the conference ended. We swapped contacts but no comeback took place. Really if people what to know anything about anything transgender include the best route to knowing and then understanding a given subject is to ask questions and follow through. Pandering to stereotypes, assumptions, and swift judgements are founded on dogmatic beginnings and or cultural conditioning. They do not help rather they give way to fascist mindsets where gender diversity ought to reign.

The writer of “unpacking…” doesn’t specify or directly use lesbian or bisexual voices and at times she seems to stumble into the same stereotyping as the gay men above have done. She does not seem to be able to conceptualise homosexual transsexual women not to mention transsexual men in doing so excludes all other possible ways of identifying as a trans person. If this is the case, what would she make of a gender queer person or an mtf butch or a transdykes? Would she be willing to date an femme ftm, for instance? Trust me, I don’t mean to sound insulting. I am just attempting to map out the landscape that is trans-X-U-all ala Tracy O’Keefe and Katherine Fox of that same title… True transsexuality/transgenderism is about gender identity but everyone also has a sexuality unique to them. In addition, imagine a transwoman and her cissexual woman lesbian partner, do you need to cast aspersions on such healthy relationships because your worldview is so narrow as to recognise such fluidity as diversity is capable of conferring on the human race?

Nothing is said about the throng of what constitutes transgenderism. Does of “unpacking… ,” for instance, realise that apart from being about gender identity transgenderism actual impacts on the entire human species as in QUILTBAG (coined by Lee Sadie, the interviewer talking to the gender performer, speaker and activist Kate Bornstein) as a featured in DIVA mag where a claim to unify sex, sexuality and gender identities and /gender roles were made in an interview with Kate Bornstein. Diversity comes in different forms and it is not fixed in the way the writer of “unpacking…” and company would prefer. We need to educate ourselves before we can educate others. I so hope she would not want to become the pied piper for the transphobic horde?

By Mia Nikasimo. Originally appeared in Black Looks. © August 2011

In the month of February, a commentary was published named ‘LGBT: Transgender rights not simply gay rights’[i]. I authored that commentary and as expected I received a lot of criticism from a section of gays and lesbians. For some, I could sense palatable denial and the fear of being deserted by those they thought gave them the security of numbers. Additionally, there was this other section who came to learn of the mistakes they had been making in their LGBT organisations. It’s for the latter that I will delve into the topic of unpackaging the LGBT community.

I will start with my views on whether transgender persons should be lumped together with the LGB community. And my answer is a definite no. The issues concerning LGB people stem from sexual orientation, whereas those of transgender people stem from their gender. The issues of transgender persons are completely different from those of the LGB.

Much of the retort I get from some LGB individuals is that though the issues of transgender persons are different from those of LGB individuals, we face similar oppression. There is no iota of truth there. Just because at times people confuse transgender for homosexuals and abuse their rights due to that confusion doesn’t mean we face similar oppression. That’s oppression based on perceived sexual orientation but not real sexual orientation, and the best way to deal with it is to educate people that transgender persons are not homosexuals.

Transgender persons have to deal with issues of changes of names and sex markers on identification documents and academic certificates. How many homosexuals have to deal with that? Transgender persons need to access medical services such as hormone therapy, castration, mastectomy and oopherectomy. Are these issues of any relevance to homosexuals? No. Is discrimination in employment and access to public service the same for homosexuals as it is for transgender? Do gays have to fret when they have to get services at the bank like a transgender person? Transgender issues are completely different from those of gays.

At times you will get ridiculous arguments from LGB individuals, and at times certain ‘transgender’ persons, on why the T should be lumped into LGB.

‘[T]ransgender isn’t a sexuality (then again, ‘LGBT’ is just a collective for people who don’t think ‘straight’). Sure, there’s a great deal of intermingling between sexuality and gender, but they’re unrelated. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you can be both transgendered and not take on the heterosexual mentality of the gender you change into.’[ii]

‘I do feel that if the T was removed from the LGBT then it would just drop of in society. I think the reason they were probably lumped together in the first place is because it was the Gay community that brought Transgender people more out into the open back in the early days. Many Trans people also identify as bisexual or Gay. As a Gay male I have no problem with the T being lumped in with the LGB.’[iii]

The problem as far as this sentiment is concerned is that they are a weak and pathetic intellectual brew. What do these kind of people mean that transgender people don’t think straight? So transgender people think like what? Homosexuals? I don’t think so. I am not insinuating that homosexuals are bad but lets not gaynize transgender people for the sake of uniting the LGBT community. At times I get to hear some trans people saying there are trans persons who are gays, lesbians and bisexual. But I wonder why they don’t say some trans folks are mechanics and computer scientists and should be lumped together with mechanics and computer scientists. The thick line that separates transgender from the homosexual community is fast becoming blurred for purposes of courtesy. The mentality behind it is mostly, ‘lets sacrifice some transsexuals to LGB to appease them and make them think we are together and some of our kind are like them’. This wheeling and dealing is as dangerous as it is irresponsible.

Others will ask questions that call for a serious re-evaluation of whether most LGBs should even be allowed to work on transgender issues. Two have asked me how transgender is different from LGB: ‘Don’t transgender people have sex like homosexuals?’ My sympathies go to this section. I mean, how am I supposed to know how transgender persons have sex? Secondly, who gave these people the right to poke their noses into how every transgender person in the universe has sex? How are transgender persons supposed to work with such people? But then the fence-sitters will say give them a break, they are suffering from insatiable appetite for transgender education.

It’s a relief that there are homosexuals who support the idea that transgender persons should not be associated with gays and lesbians.[iv]

‘Well although Transsexuality is a choice……Perhaps they should belong in a seperate group…Although if I ever met one I wouldn’t make fun, I would just mind my buisness maybe ask a question if I am curious (Like for starters thier sexualities. In TV shows when someone becomes a transexual they seem to like the opposite sex. But how does a girl who turned into a boy start liking girls even though they originally liked guys unless they gay or bisexual.’

‘I just think that associating transsexuals with gay/lesbian/bisexual is like bald being associated with blond, brunette, etc. I don’t think it’s a sexuality thing as much as a gender role thing, and YES, there’s a difference.’

‘I don’t dislike transsexuals. I have nothing against them. I just don’t think they should be put in the same category as the gay/lesbian/bisexual community. Being transsexual doesn’t affect which gender you’re attracted to. I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m just saying that it doesn’t belong in the classification of sexuality.’

‘Transsexuals being associated with homosexuals makes homosexuals look bad.’

‘I am a gay guy and I don’t know any transgendered or transexual people…and I have lots of gay friends who dont associate with trans people either…so why are lesbians/gays lumped together with trans?’[v]

‘I hate being put in the same boat as ‘transgender’. Im gay, and im a man. I dont wear womens clothes, and i dont wanna have my balls cut off!!! I think its incredibly insulting to be grouped together with ‘transgendered’ people like this. People associate gay men, with wearing your mums dress, and its because we are all lumped together like this.’[vi]

The point to be lamented is not that some transgender persons don’t want to be associated with gays and lesbians, but that there are gays and lesbians that don’t want the lumping of transgender into the homosexual community and that we the lowly and pathetic transgender persons need to give gays and lesbians their space. As one transgender person said:

‘I am a Transsexual woman who neither seeks anything from, or gives anything to, the LGB community. As far as I’m concerned, if every LGB person vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow, it wouldn’t affect my Transsexualism one iota… I have nothing against LGB people, but their condition has NOTHING to do with my condition.. Frankly, I don’t care what any of these “communities” do. As far as I’m concerned, they’d be better off looking at my example for guidance and support, than I would be looking at theirs. How are communities full of people like this going to benefit me?’[vii]

What at times unnerves me is the ridiculous notion that transgender persons are pushing themselves to the homosexual crowd. It needs to be said transgender people are not to blame. It’s the way some gays (especially effeminate gays and butch lesbians) behave that created this problem to begin with, with effeminate gays cross-dressing in parties and prides and having boob jobs to get into the she-male porn industry – it was assumed that gay men want to be women and lesbians want to be men. You made transsexuals look like a big joke and as people who capriciously break gender norms for the sake of it. And thanks to the social justice system that listens to everyone except transsexuals, transsexuals ended up being lumped together with gays despite the knowledge that it would breed irreconcilable conflicts. We are not in the business of hijacking the gay rights movement – we don’t need to – and for those who think so can only tell them to take their crazy ideas where they came from. Do you think most transsexuals are happy when they see trans folk in gay prides? Being mocked by some dressed up gays and lesbians or being used as clowns in your prides?

This will be incomplete if I failed to mention the issue of suffering the stigma of others and affirming stereotypes about transsexuals. I hope I don’t make a slip of the tongue and if I do just know it wasn’t intentional. Some gays have expressed the sentiment that transsexuals make them look bad. Well, I don’t know how transsexuals look bad and how they victimise gays but if that’s the case it’s true that having these groups working together tends to make different groups suffer for the ‘sins’ of others.

I normally recite this mantra once in a while: I would rather have my rights violated because am a transsexual woman and not because people have confused me for a homosexual. I am willing to fight back and bear the pain for my ‘sins’. But I can’t bear the pain of suffering because of other people’s ‘sins’. Transsexuals should not be turned into human shields for some gays. We can work together the same way we can work with any community, but we cannot accept the unwritten rule that transsexuals must work with gays at all times. We have freedom of association.

The LGBT community affirms stereotypes about transgender people and that their gender issues have something to do with their sexual orientation, i.e., they change sex to sleep around with some people. You can even see this trend at the international human rights fora, e.g., the United Nations Human Rights Council Resolution on Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity.[viii] Why is it that transgender issues have to be dragged alongside those of homosexuals? Does it mean that if gays didn’t exist then the issues of transgender person will not be worked on by the UN? This trend tells people that gender identity and sexual orientation are related and that transgender persons are partly (if not wholly) gays. This has to come to an end.

It’s bad that some transsexuals had to pass through the homosexual community. They didn’t choose it; they were forced by the societal norms that equate transsexualism with homosexuality. Coupled by a sad community who opened their arms widely for transsexuals to make the great gay ark their domicile, people who needed the security that comes with numbers and human shields. It’s regrettable that we had to pass through that but time was on our side. We came to know better.

But am I too optimistic when I say that? Recent activities in South Africa show I am chasing a mirage. It so happens that the South African trans community is upset that they were not included in this year’s gay pride theme, ‘Born This Gay’.[ix] The thing is they feel alienated by the gays because they never mentioned transgender in the theme. Have a look at this:

‘As a heterosexual transsexual person I would like this clarified and would like to know if our affiliation to the “LGBTI” Joburg Pride is an error on our part.’

Leigh Ann van der Merwe, a Trans woman in the Eastern Cape asked: ‘How can they advocate to being inclusive about LGBTI but do this?’

Robert Hamblin, advocacy manager and deputy director at Gender DynamiX, an organisation that works for the advancement of transgender and intersex people, said: ‘This theme is unacceptable. People believe that gay people know the latest trends, but they definitely got it wrong this time.’

In all fairness, I can only say that the complainants saw it coming. But you ignored the signs and wished you were in safe hands, yet in the back of your minds you knew you would be short changed. That was a gay pride, not transgender pride. If you get hurt when encroaching on other people’s territory then blame yourself; don’t blame gays and lesbians.

I have witnessed overzealous gays who think they have the right to be our voice. This unsolicited help ends up causing conflict that end up being blamed on transgender people. The depathologization campaign is one area that needs to be highlighted. Look at the following:

‘Being transgendered is not a mental illness. We are simply part of the diversity of humanity. Gender Identity Disorder is therefore not a valid diagnosis. Homosexuality we removed as a mental health diagnosis in 1987. For us to achieve true liberation and recognition we need to throw off this unjust stigma. We are not ill, just different.’[x]

You would think this is a transsexual person talking but it’s a homosexual. And look at his argument: homosexuality was expunged from the DSM so transsexualism should follow suit. Why do people like these view transsexualism and the issues of transsexuals from a homosexual lens? Who gave them the right to speak on our behalf? Transsexual people from London responded saying:

‘[W]e were worried that campaigning for the removal of Gender Identity Disorder as a medical diagnosis without proposing an alternative mechanism by which transsexual people would be able to access medical transition resources was premature and dangerous.. do not wish to support a movement(transgender) which may give the impression that we seek complete divorce from the medical community… We further call on Mr Hambridge, who is not trans himself, to stop claiming to speak on our behalf when he is ignoring our protestations and silencing our voices.’

I don’t know why some gays are good at helping people solve their problems but lousy in their work. Clean your houses before you go out there to clean others. I think there is something these people gain when they do that, but that’s a discussion for another day.

Ironically, the Global Forum on MSMs was there as sidekicks for gays (regarding the depathologisation of GID): ‘The Global Forum on MSM & HIV (MSMGF) recommends a rights-based and person-centered approach to developing guidelines that will help transgender persons receive non-discriminatory, non-judgmental and quality health care.’[xi] You would be shocked to know that this is the same organisation that for years tirelessly labelled transgender women ‘men who have sex with other men’. I wonder which is the greater of these two evils, i.e. putting transsexualism in psychiatry and labelling transgender women men ‘who have sex with men’? We don’t need disrespectful and arrogant people pretending to be our sidekicks. If you cannot shed your bigoted gender normative stereotypes then I suggest you leave lowly transsexuals alone with their problems.

I hope I have been adequately sensitive to all persons and I hope there will be a change in the way things get done. I am not on this earth to split or unite the LGBT community – I am a busy person. But the issues of transgender persons would not fall through the cracks if we didn’t have T lumped together with LGB.

We need to re-evaluate projects, organisations and donor funding and ensure equitability for all. We need to have a system whereby no one fears to criticise gays and lesbians because they fear being regarded as homophobic. Gays and lesbian do make mistakes, but rarely will you hear people correcting them. Is it that they have special rights or is it we became too open minded our brains fell out? It’s high time we realised that the LGBT model failed and transgender persons have to move on with their lives.

By Audrey Mbugua
Originally appeared in Pambazuka News 2011-07-06, Issue 538

NOTES

[i] Audrey Mbugua 2011 LGBT: Transgender Rights Not Simply Gay Rights, http://www.pambazuka.org/en/category/features/70777
[ii] Yahoo Answers: Why are Transsexuals Lumped Together with Gays in LGBT? What Do We Have in Common?, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100412004213AA7JioU
[iii] QueerUk. The T in LGBT, http://forums.queeruk.net/threads/the-t-in-lgbt.967/
[iv] Serebii.net Forums. Do Transgender Really Belong in LGBT, http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=421250
[v] Yahoo Answers: Why are Transsexuals Lumped Together with Gays in LGBT? What Do We Have in Common?, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100412004213AA7JioU
[vi] QueerUk. The T in LGBT, http://forums.queeruk.net/threads/the-t-in-lgbt.967/
[vii] Yahoo Answer LGB People, what are your views on transgender individuals?, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101201123307AA2TITq
[viii] Hillary Rodham Clinton. 2011 United Nations Human Rights Council Resolution on Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity, http://www.state.gov/secretary/rm/2011/06/166383.htm
[ix] International Gay and Lesbian Association. South Africa : Trans community rejects ‘born this gay’ theme for Jo’Burg Pride, http://ilga.org/ilga/en/article/n37sQPK1sC
[x] Sarah Brown. 2009 Rogue Cis LGB Activist Fighting Against Trans People on Our Behalf, http://transgender.livejournal.com/2142354.html
[xi] International Lesbian and Gay Association. Global Forum on MSM & HIV Supports Worldwide Advocacy, Efforts to depathologize Transgender Identities, http://ilga.org/ilga/en/article/moljQIx12W

I would define Marriage as the union between two adults, either heterosexual or homosexual. For the benefit of sexual minorities or same gender loving people, marriage can be extended to same gender loving people that are in a committed relationship and ready for a (legal) recognition. However it is important to note that there should be a legislative clarity on the age of the persons concerned. Marriage can also be defined as the legalizing of the commitment between two people. It could be legalized under the law in places where there is a law to legalize such unions, especially for same gender loving people. It is also a way in which two people further show their commitment to each other sometimes by exchanging wedding bands or rings, which turns marriage into a covenant. It is however generally difficult for same gender loving people to show such public confirmation of their relationship. However, in countries like South Africa, United Kingdom and Canada it is legalized. Also under the law, marriage gives couples rights to inheritance, child custody, etc.

Different forms of marriages?

There are different forms of marriages. There is the marriage between older men and much younger women in cultures where very young girls are given away in marriage; marriage between men and women of the same age group, since heterosexual marriage is known widely and is more popular as the societal norm. There are also homosexual marriages which are marriages between two men or two women; these are popular in countries like Canada where they are governed under the Gay marriage Act, South Africa (Gay marriage Act) and the United Kingdom (Civil Partnership Act).

Are there temporary marriages?

I don’t believe that there are temporary marriages. Marriage is more or less a formal way of showing or sharing a long term commitment in a relationship. There are some relationships that might come to an end as a result of mutual agreement between either parties or other factors, like natural consequences such as death. I see so called temporary marriages as marriages under duress.

Marriage or long term relationship over time

Marriages can and people do change over time in relationships. It all depends on their ability to handle changes in their relationships. These changes can and sometimes do come about when people are not committed to their vows and relationship for different reasons such as distance (a situation where both parties do not reside in the same place), economic changes (poverty), illness etcetera. Both parties have to understand that marriage is a lifetime commitment, therefore they have to keep reinventing the love in their relationship, stick to their vows regardless of the situation and they should have the ability to endure both positive and negative changes as enduring the changes is the most important thing in marriage.

What do you know about Polyamorous Relationships?

Well the one I know of is polyandry, which is originally a situation where one woman is married to more than one husband, but these days it can be explained as a committed relationship between three men or three women in a same sex relationship. These are relationships defined by the parties involved. I have met three men who have been in a committed relationship for about fifteen years.

I believe it is okay. As a liberal theologian, it is not right for me to judge others. As long as the partners in the relationship are happy, care for and have made a commitment to each other, that’s all that matters. It is however important to be aware of the possibility of the spread and dangers of Sexually Transmitted Infections also known as STIs and HIV. The risks in a homosexual relationship are the same as in a heterosexual relationship. But where the three parties are faithful and are not infected then such a relationship is safe as such health concerns do not come up. However, there could be other health concerns such as heart failures or death; in such cases the need to negotiate who will be the next of kin is also important. Certainly there are more complicated decisions to be made in polyandrous relationships as against monogamous relationships. The only problem with polyandry is that it is not accepted into the norms of our society. Personally, I do not believe the Bible would condemn such a relationship as long as the people are in agreement. After all, Sarah introduced Haggai to her husband, Abraham. Would Jesus discriminate?

As a pastor, how do you view the precepts of the Bible regarding monogamous and polygamous or polyandry relationships.

If one takes a conservative and extreme fundamental interpretation of the Bible, it can be one man and one woman. However when one looks at the joy and satisfaction of a polygamous or polyandrous relationship then the joy is mostly fulfilling and the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4: 9 that two are better than one. Therefore one has to look at it from a broader perspective. Often people forget that the decision and the commitment is between the people within and not outside the parties and they often judge because they do not fit within the societal norms or the so called definitions we are used to. Once again, I don’t think the Bible would condemn such relationships as long as the parties are sane and make the right decisions that they want to be in that relationship.

Relating marriage to African values and reproduction

As I mentioned earlier, marriage is the commitment between two people who love each other. When we start to look at reproduction, we are narrowly saying that marriage is for procreation and not for pleasure. That would then bring a negative effect on same gender loving people because they are at a biological disadvantage. In the 21st century as against the 16 th century, there are a lot of options for same gender loving people to have children if they choose to. It must also be noted that there are heterosexual couples that can naturally not have children. Should this take away the fact that they can still have sex for pleasure?

So who do you think should be married?

With regards to gender, it could be two men, two women, man and woman or simply any two people that are in love or choose to marry each other. They should be given the right to marry as these are part of the essence of human rights. In different communities and institutions, people need to be guided safely towards making choices that feel right to them. There are a lot of issues around sexuality education, but when people are genuinely in love they should be given the freedom and the opportunity to exercise that love by extending it into marriage. One must however be careful, because some might think it is proper for a parent to marry out a child (an under aged girl). Whether the child is adopted or is a biological child, there should be laws to protect children from such marriages.

With regards to relationships, how do you view the trend among young people today?

The trend is slowly picking up. The awareness of choices is very important and with good education, and support mechanism in the society, people can make informed choices. They can also make decisions they feel are right for them and not necessarily what is right for the society. People usually complain of influence from the western world over Africa but this is not true, as different forms of relationships have not only always existed but evolved in different communities. The trend is allowing education to evolve in a natural way so that people can be well informed. There is a lot of stigma for same gender loving people in Africa, particularly in Nigeria. And the lack of education and awareness makes it more difficult. The trend can be said to have been closeted because it is filled with shame and guilt. For example when two men are lovers, they are often regarded as friends or brothers by unsuspecting neighbors and this is not always very good.

What are the implications for these relationships and the rights of the people involved? Should the law enhance the rights of people in this type of relationships in Nigeria?

From a legal perspective, the implications for homosexual relationships are not different from heterosexual. The Bible says (Romans 13) the Ruler of the country has been placed as a ruler over us, but it is possible that the ruler is ruling over people in Terror. In Nigeria the government is ruling over homosexuals in terror by not giving them their rights. If a country provides protection for same sex relationships, legislative statutes would be put in place. Domestic violence is also the same in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, as it is still violence in both cases. In the United Kingdom where there is a Civil Partnership law which gives gay men and lesbian women the right to marry, there are also laws protecting such people from abuse with access to rights of next of kin and child custody, if children are involved. In some countries where there are laws for same gender loving people to marry, there are still disparities with heterosexual couples. The right of people in relationships is important, the right of next of kin, adoption, right to have biological children, custody etcetera. However, there are different implications for these rights in different countries. In Nigeria, the government has succeeded in having the same sex prohibition bill passed into law, but by the popularity of the bill, even if it is not passed into Law, there should be another Law that should seek to protect homosexuals from other forms of violence, whether it is violence in the relationship, family, neighborhood, at work or the society at large.

How would you explain same gender loving in relation to your religious beliefs?

There is no doubt that the bible talks about the fruit of the flesh and the fruit of the spirit; the fruit of the spirit includes love and joy and against these there is no law. Therefore if a man loves a man then a community should rejoice with them and should be encouraged, since we believe so much in the scriptures. Also the bible says you should love your neighbor as yourself and this includes not harming your neighbor in any way. Homosexuality is not a sin but homophobia which is the hatred of homosexuals. This is not only a sin but also a crime. There is no criminality in same gender loving relationships except in a country where there is no law safe guarding their rights. As a Christian community in Nigeria we are mindful of the law, therefore we do not actively promote homosexuality; we discreetly say to people who are homosexuals that they need to live their lives as they are. It is true that the law does not promote, encourage or protect same gender loving people; they however have to work together to find justice. We should celebrate love and not hate.

*Reverend Rowland Jide Macaulay, LLB, is an ordained minister of the gospel, Christian Theologian , inspirational speaker, poet, openly gay pastor and the founding pastor of House of Rainbow Metropolitan Community Church, Lagos Nigeria. He holds a degree in law (London) and a Masters degree in theology. He also moderates an online e-group to raise awareness and bring love and comfort to many Black or African lesbian, gay, bisexual, transvestite and transgender people all over the world. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/africangaychristians/