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By
Richmond Tiemoko
Things I learnt from children :
I am not a baby, I am a big boy' (A 4 year-old boy in nursery 2 responding to his mother's friend who asked: is he your baby?).
The same boy asked his mother again:
- Boy : Mummy I know you born [gave birth to] me right?
- Mum : Yes.
- Boy : How did I enter your tummy when I was a baby and could not even walk' ?
-Mother: God made it possible and you will understand this when you are grown up' (It is not clear if the mother would ever explain this to the boy).
A 7 year-old girl who was literally interrogating her mother about how her parents got married, asked how do you know you are in love ?' And again the mother, surprised by this question says you will know when you grow up '.
These words from these children reflect the multifaceted socialization process and the strong link between primary socialization and setting boundaries when it comes to sexuality, masculinity and femininities. Many adults are familiar with such questions and very often the questions and answers display adults' discomfort with sexuality, especially discussing positive sexuality. They are too familiar and keen to point out all the negativities and dangers of sexual intercourse to protect their children and prepare them for social life. This article examines the socialization process in the field of sexuality and argues that there is a need to go beyond primary socialization to promote sexual health and wellness.
Insufficient Socialization?
Socialization simply refers to a process whereby individuals (generally new comers to society) are taught and learn to fit into the social area. Socialization is a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position'[1]. While this definition would suggest an empowering and skills developments process, it is discomforting to observe that in the unfolding drama of sexualization and sexual expression, socialization is different. In effect, when it comes to sexuality and sexual expression, socialization takes a different twist to become a process of setting and policing boundaries and sexual spaces. It becomes largely constraining and disempowering because the practice and discussion on socialization are focused on primary socialization. Discussing socialization and sexual expression in Africa definitely involves discussing the boundaries and therefore the space and arena for sexuality.
Key questions arising include, what and under what circumstances an individual becomes a sexual being or ceases to be a social and sexual being. Socialization poses major issues in the field of sexuality. While we acknowledge it as a continuous process of knowledge acquisition and skill development to live a functional and social life and to make an individual's identity (different from the crowd) it is amazing that an individual's expression of sexuality has in many instances attracted criticism and even ostracism.
Similarly, sexuality education has been concerned with reinforcing the boundaries: Protection of marital union and the framework for sexuality and hetero-normalcy. While these are important issues, they should not overshadow the need to prepare individuals to use and enjoy the power of choice in a responsible manner. I use responsibility to mean the choice that respects others' rights and promotes healthy relationship with self and with others.
Getting Ready for the future: Beyond primary socialization
Many aspects of existing socialization as related to human sexuality and sexual expression including sexuality education are confined to primary socialization (entrenched in the functionalist perspective) and therefore neglect other equally, if not most, useful forms of socialization. Such restrictive forms of socialization are not enough and would hardly prepare individuals to fully participate in and enjoy the ever evolving social environment. With the current trend of social transformation and the interconnectedness of different spaces (including virtual ones) it has become imperative to support the process of secondary socialization and re socialization that is a process of accepting or even designing new behaviour patterns more relevant to the emerging culture and society. In other words, it is important to reconsider the boundaries and transform them.
Going beyond primary socialization and reconsidering current boundaries would mean updating the notion of masculinities and femininities, and other categories in a way that empowers individuals to live a fulfilling social life as full citizens. As contributions to this issue have amply demonstrated, socialization in Africa should go beyond learning attitude, values and norms that are just appropriate for a particular culture (generally parents' generation's culture). They all point out the need for Socialization to be anticipatory of changes and innovations to come. And this may entail critically evaluating existing norms and values as well as innovating/inventing those appropriate for the future society.
Reference
http://www.reference.com/search?q=socialization (assessed 26/10/2007)
* Richmond Tiemoko, PhD is the Director of Africa
Regional Sexuality Resource Centre.
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